“Too many of us are not living our dreams because we are living our fears.”

I wish I knew what was going on. How to feel and how to understand. I’ve never felt this way, not for a long time. I wish I could find the words to say it out loud but some things are best left silent until ready. But I feel ready and even though whoever is reading this won’t understand, I hope some of you do.

Pro Choice

We form our lives from a variety of choices; yes or no, left or right, true or false, A or B, heads or tails. Though some choices relay on a fifty, fifty, percent chance, some cause us to be rebellious; do not enter, no shop lifting, do not say the lords name in vain and so on. On these occasions we test our limits by trying new and exciting things that could change our lives and fill our souls. We develop our selves by making such choices and living with the consequences. We all deserve a choice and our say about our choices for no two minds are alike. Such is the case with abortion. Before abortion was legal in America, women would find dangerous and harmful ways to terminate an unwanted or unplanned pregnancy; they would either do illegal “back-alley” abortions that involved infectious, humiliating and deathly results. Some women would take the route of using household products such as bleach or even inserting sharp objects, such as hangers, to end the pregnancy. Thankfully times have changed but the pressure to eliminate pro choice might soon cause chaos and maybe even a new law. We all deserve a choice.

Abortions may occur for numerous reasons; a woman may not be ready to be a mother, she may have been raped and it may be as simple as her birth control failing. Some may argue that if a women isn’t ready to be a mother, she shouldn’t have sex. But people shouldn’t have to drop pleasure for risk of an unwanted pregnancy; it’s as if a person doesn’t eat chocolate because there is a chance to gain weight. Yes there is a chance but there are prevention’s that can help you. Some might say if a woman gets pregnant by chance, she should put her baby up for adoption but the adoption agency is difficult. But just as abortion is a choice, adoption and abstinence are other choices as well.

The most important thing about this topic is a support system, no matter what you choose. In 1972, there was a woman who became homeless because of her pregnancy. She had been kicked out of the place she was living and also her church. They told her, her “condition” first has to be resolved for her to return. Her family turned their back on her and she was left to deal with her situation all on her own. She decided to terminate the pregnancy but she was left to deal with the side effects on her own. Freedom of choice is vital for woman. That is not to say that abortion is not sad; every abortion is sad but a woman who is going through decision making shouldn’t be convinced that by having an abortion they are killing a baby, and by keeping a baby they shouldn’t be shunned either. Choice is vital to every person.

More important to me is having people feel like they are able to take the choice away from me without considering how I feel, and my rights. We have the freedom to speak and what I say is choice is vital and I want to be able to have choices if ever life didn’t go my way. 

The leading lady

Power was the only thing she wanted to find

You could see it, as it blazed in her mind

Mischief was in her eyes but behind lying still,

Was a dark desire that all she wanted was to fulfill

Her hair was strict and tight, no piece was allowed to fray

And when walked she stood straight, as she entered the doorway

Her slender body, was curved and delicious,

and when she spoke, her words tasted bitter-vicious.

Whatever she did, she made sure it was in line

For everything had to be exact, everything refine.

The strength that she radiated, gave her a spot in the debates,  

as one of the new candidates on the journey to be the leader of the United states

The next months that fallowed were hard and many fought

The men were the first ones to fall

but she, the only women stood straight and tall

not ready to stumble, to ready to fail.

She remembers this all as it comes to the end of the tale

statements are given to the public and press

then she is taken to a room and waits, building up stress

It isn’t until the morning that she hears the news, a roar

is sounded, the battle is won and the results is the cure.

She is taken to the white house and her new home,

Sink or swim

It’s the ocean that makes me want to fly away,

its the sound of the crashing waves that makes me want to stay

it’s my silent heart that craves for a throb,

a heartbeat of wave,

a seaweed of awe,

What do I do when the crash upon my feet?

Do I swim or do I sink?

Or do I simply just sleep

Just treat the sea like a dream

Like my imagionary thoughts

Like what I see when I think of you

Tell me dear sea what shall I hear?

Will you cry out to me?

Or should I drown?

The passing of time

Time always passes us by; it brings questions of worry and hope to my mind. Will I go to college? Will I end my days with the love of my life? Then the questions of hope and wonder spring to my mind like Will he give me flowers the next time I see him? Will I get a good grade on the test I studied so hard for?

I’ve always wondered if our hopes are extracted from our dreams. Like if we dream about love and the next day all we want is to seek it. I guess love is really unavoidable. As hard as we try to not seek it or how much we try to get it, we eventually all come in contact with that special someone that can fulfill that soft spot. 

I feel happy but then I also feel sad or alone or I just want something.. I don’t know what to think

Frozen to the bones

The dust settles across the iron grass
Ashes of innocence
War of treason
Iron is your hand that strikes at me
At melting point does it cease to bleed
Despite the hot and cold mixed in my heart
I’m frozen to the bones, I am

Smash of your axe
As the bones crumble and break
As innocence burns
The Phoenix shall rise from its ashes
But that won’t stop the iron of your head splitting mine
Despite the hot and cold mixed in my heart
I’m frozen to the bones, I am

No sun, no moon shall light this field of fight
Only the song of my heart that threatens to burst can cause a wind
The iron of your heart is breaking mine
Despite the hot and cold mixed in my heart
I’m frozen to the bones, I am

I lay there at your feet
No movement no sound
No breath or shout
It is only the loudness of my broken heart that causes your ears to hear stone silence

A tear trickles after guilt infects itself
Bringing your ragged hallowed body to its knees-
While you pray
” I killed the innocent in my wake,
Let their screams melt and shake,
Turning their bones to ashes as I stood and watched,
But no I too,am frozen to the bone I am”

In the silence that fallows your cry
My back rips like raw paper
Black wings spread,
Dripping with blood, like black ink
I rise before you, fire in my eyes
And scream
“Now because of you I can no longer feel the warmth in my heart,
But still my bones rattle with heats last breath
I only wish I could take your heart, the way you did mine,
Instead I’ll leave you to suffer, a immortal life”

Despite the hot and cold on my back,
The ice in my bones has fled
But no I’m alone, I am


"The world is burning, THE WORLD IS BURNING!" she screamed on top of the hill.

All around her were burning branches and leaves and homes.

Children were crying, adults were shouting and animals were screaming until their lungs were sore.

It was the middle of the day of the winter day but one could not tell because the sun was covered with ashes and falling snow.

The girl on the hill was suddenly aroused by quakes and trembles,

the grass under her feet started caving in and then she was falling int burning darkness.

"Wake up Elle, WAKE UP!" Her mother shook her shoulders.

She opened her eyes and sighed with relief, it was only a dream.

But her mother was frightened and scared.

Elle asked, “what is wrong?” Worry swallowed her stomach.

"Something has happened that I cannot explain. Look outside your window and see for yourself". She pointed to the window pane with a shakey hand.

Elle stepped across the cold, wooden floor. She pulled back the curtains and with her eyes wide, she screamed and screamed,



I want to experience that feeling that people talk about. Those butterflies you get in your stomach when excitment takes over.  I want that feeling of longing, passion and desire. To everyday of every hour, in every minute to crave the touch of someone, that special someone. At night, I want those hourly conversatiosn that might have long pauses, not awakward just the sound of each others breath letting us know that we feel the same thing.

I want that experience, that feeling.

Whats that called again?



Let go

Lift me up,

Let me go,

Untie My bounds,

Heal my wounds,

Let me heal and let me bloom.

Just be

who cares what they say,

whether it be ugly or fat,

to skinny, to tall,

to blonde to burnette,

to bright to dim,

To slow to fast,

to tanned, to pale…

Who cares what they say,

They aren’t you, they don’t own your body,

You do!

Accept what you have and be proud because that is waht makes you unique and beautiful.

As we grew

I watched as you grew, How you turned into a man. 
It seemed like yesterday that there were dry leaves in your hair.
I was there with you when you fell and scraped your knee. 
I was on the ground next to you when we laughed and dreamed.
But lately something inside of me has changed. 
I now see you in a new light. 
What I see is someone I love.
When our fingers brush, I look away, 
hoping you won’t see What I feel in my eyes.
I don’t want you to see the change I see in you.

At night, I fall asleep crying for the loss Of my childhood, Which is slowly peeling away from my body Leaving me bare and alone.
During the day Words are stumbling out of my mouth with no control. 
My new opinion has received smiles and glares.
I don’t know what to do. I don’t know what to say. I am lost in my own body, Scared.
But every time I see you the chains that are squeezing my heart, melt into roses
and the words that come out are things well spoken.

Now that we are grown and we clasp hands
And talk of futures and ideals,
I can’t help but feel like we are again children on the ground,
Dreaming the time away,
Filling that empty space behind us full of nightmares and doubt,
Not expecting that one day we must change.
Because everyone knows,
All children must grow up.

How the stars came to be

Once long ago night never existed, it was always day. Because the sun was always high in the sky crops grew faster which helped the people of the world sell their goods for pieces of gold and they were able to have crops left over for them-selves. Children studied more and played to their hearts content and peoples hearts and spirits were always filled with happiness.
Up high in the heavens, Zeus saw the joy in his people’s eyes. With that he shone the sun even brighter and with his power he thrust sunrays in the sky. He felt so proud that he had given the world and people happiness.
One day Zeus was looking down and filling the blue sky with light when the spirit of darkness snuck up behind Zeus catching him by surprise.
The Spirit of Darkness was once a man and more then that he was a prince. He was the only son that his mother and father had. They loved him so much that they spoiled him with gold and silk and other beautiful riches. Because his parents indulged him with so many things, he became greedy and slowly his heart turned black. After years of taking and never giving, he forgot about it entirely. His parents loved him so even though they saw that they had ruined him. They tried everything in their power to turn him back into a righteous being, but it was to late so in private they wept and begged the gods for forgiveness.
One day the Prince was riding with his subjects, trying to soak in the beautiful sunlight that warmed the earth and sky, when he came in contact with something beautiful. 
He had been riding all day and decided to take a rest so he dropped from his horse and traveled through the trees, commanding that he walk alone in order to regain silence in his mind. He had been walking for a few minutes with his thoughts when he heard the throb of a heartbeat of a running brook. He fallowed the beautiful noise and soon came to a clearing that was lined with trees and carpeted with soft grass and wild flowers. The flowers on the ground were not the only ones he was in awe with; a beautiful girl sat by the riverbank, her feet creating waves as she kicked back and forth. Her chocolate locks glowed with beauty as they hung down her slender back. Even though the Prince had forgotten that he contained a core he reached up to his neck and felt for a hard pulse to let him know that this was real. She turned around and smiled at him as if she had been waiting for him her whole life. He came to her and sat by her side looking at only her while he moved his arms to his boots, undoing the laces, while he removed his leather boots and dipped his feet in the water. While he was entranced by her presence she seemed to be spell bound by the diamond sparkles in the river. Few minutes passed tell he gingerly reached for her hand then rubbed his oil-bathed fingers over her cool ones. For the first time, the Prince asked her a question.
“What is your name?
Without turning around she replied, “Rose”. 

The Prince took his beautiful Rose to his kingdom and showered her with the most beautiful riches; silk gowns from across the world, fresh squeezed perfume that smelled of roses and far off ancient places. He was, for the first time, happy and for once he gave his people gifts and food. Even though the Prince was happy, Rose felt her self slowly loosing the person she had been. She felt like her soul was being ripped from her center. She feared so much for when the time came that the Prince would ask her hand and how when that day would arrive, she would say no. It wasn’t until a few weeks after her arrival to the Kingdom she decided that in the night she would flee to the dark forest. She had nothing that she desired to take with her so all she had to do was wait for the Prince to be asleep. 
After hours of waiting, she finally snuck out of the bed. She had only taken a few steps when a hand gripped her wrist, hard. She cried out and turned looking at her Princes eyes.
“Let me go”. She demanded. He only gripped harder as he pulled her forward right in front of his face that seemed to steam with anger. 
“Does our love mean nothing to you?” His question was harsh and anger was pulsing through it.
“Our love means my world, Prince, I just cannot stay here. I long for my feet to be upon warm soft grass; I desire only my freedom. Ever since arriving here, I have felt like a caged bird without even the courtesy of having my wings; I am trapped and I need to leave. Please, I am begging you, grant me my freedom?” Instead of answering he reached under his pillow and removed the hidden golden blade that glinted in the candlelight. He looked into her eyes and smiled and with all his strength, sank the blade into her chest. She fell, breathing heavily but that didn’t seem to satisfy him. He got on top of her and sunk the blade in her chest again and again and again. As he ripped Rose into pieces with his dagger he laughed a horrible laugh that rang with a chilling pleasure. 

The Princes mother and father found him in the morning clutching the remains of Rose’s body, stroking her hair while whispering, “You are mine, my beautiful Rose. Nothing can touch you; your thorns can prick no one any longer. Because of me your petals will never whither and die. Because of me, I have fulfilled your only desire, you are now free”.
As all people grow old so do they die but the Prince didn’t. Instead of dying, he contorted into darkness as punishment that the gods saw fit. No longer was he called Prince but spirit of Darkness and thus he roamed the earth unable to eat or breathe, touch and smell and unable to love. The gods did allow one thing that Darkness could consume and that was hatred.

The Spirit of Darkness found his chance to get revenge on Zeus by sneaking up on him and enclosing the gods and the rest of the world in darkness. Chaos broke loose all around. Thieves stole from all the markets. Women and children were taken, in order, to be converted into slaves. Zeus and the other gods did everything in their power to regain the light but nothing seemed to work. Pandemonium lasted for thirteen straight days before the gods had made any process on peeling away the darkness. The only thing they were able to do was dig small holes through the sheet of black. They were shocked to see so much destruction below. Not wanting to risk the ruin of humanity, Zeus confronted The Spirit of Darkness begging him for a deal. The Spirit said that the only thing that would make him happy is if darkness ruled over the world for half the day and light roam the other. Zeus agreed and before they drifted apart, The Spirit turned around and said, “I lied. The only thing that could bring me some sort of satisfaction is a red rose, this time, one that will never leave me”.
Zeus agreed and they departed. When darkness did fall, Zeus and the other gods spied through the holes in the sky, making sure that The Spirit of Darkness wasn’t up to trouble and that order was still occurring below. Every night after, the gods look down on us through the holes in the sky. They are called another name today, stars. Though the gods look down on us every night, The Spirit of Darkness breathes out his poison to isolated souls and every once and a while some are immune to his venom but most inhale it without thought. Crime still does exist but under the watchful eyes of the gods, they shall be punished.
As for the Spirit of Darkness, he can be seen today by the river where he met his love and you can hear him chanting, “You are mine, my beautiful Rose. Nothing can ever touch you. Your thorns can prick no one any longer. Because of me your petals will never whiter and die. Because of me, I have fulfilled your only desire, you are now free.” As he murmurs he strokes his immortal rose.

I see you

For the length of a existence
One searches for their guardian angel
Proposing to do a deed under the view of the moon and sun
All the while hearts start to crinkle, turning into powdered charcoal
Until it pops out long after we have given up
After we open the last oyster surprised by the pale pearl inside
Under our own vow of forgiveness
We crumple in our pool of emotions
Our own angel wrapping their wings around us
Guarding us from harm
We look up
And for the first time and last we whisper
“I see you

Dark Angel

Out of the blackness came the night
In the darkness the shadows played.
And out of the darkness spilled the blood
Staining the moon red
Out of the woods cries turn to screams
And the blood ran freely
Tell there were no shadows left
The moon, weeping from sorrow let its rays fall
Lighting the ground with its praise 
There they were
And there he stood
A shadow, nothing more then a playing shadow
A dark angel…